"A Mother's Day to Remember: From Pizza to Martinis and More for Mom.

Hey everybody, it's Nancy May and Sylvia Lovely here once again with another episode of

Family Tree Food and Stories.

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And this show is all about Mother's Day.

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Now Sylvia, you know, I am not a people mother.

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I am a mother of four babies, our two standard poodles, bad dog number one and bad dog

number two, otherwise known as Otis of Reading and the Mighty Quinn.

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But my mother included said that if you don't climb high,

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If you don't climb high enough up the ladder, you're never going to be called a mother.

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So I guess I'm another, I'm a mother of another name.

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I love that story.

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Can I tell another quick story before we get into Mother's Day?

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I had a Louisiana guy, my counterpart in Louisiana, doesn't matter what it was, but he was

from Louisiana and I had him in my car.

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And I swerved to not hit a bicycle or something, I don't know what it was, but I

instinctively put my arm across him and in that beautiful Louisiana accent, you must be a

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mother.

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Yeah

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I love that.

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one mother to another mother.

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I loved it.

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dear.

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Hey, Mother's Day, probably the sweetest holiday of the year.

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It's so popular, more popular, I think, than Father's Day.

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Sorry, dads, but mothers are just something really special in our celebration.

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And that's what we're doing here today.

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And do you want to when it was invented?

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OK, yeah.

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first celebrated in 1908 in May 10th in a church in West Virginia.

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And this is interesting because so much of America today evolved from the Civil War.

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And a woman was like a caregiver extraordinaire to Union and Confederate soldiers.

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She wanted to take care of them.

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She wanted to help them.

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And she died unexpectedly, so her daughter kind of took up the mantle.

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That's who celebrated the first Mother's Day that we know of in this.

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daughter who celebrated Mother's Day?

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Okay.

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left off and sometime later in 1908, we celebrated that first one.

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Yeah, I know.

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But it sort of all began there in the Civil War of taking care of all the soldiers and so

the ultimate mother kind of thing.

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So it's kind of interesting, but Woodrow Wilson, President Woodrow Wilson, made it a

national holiday in 1914 and it's the second Sunday of May.

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The only regret she has is that became commercialized.

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you know.

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debunks my theory that it was a Hallmark special, right?

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I think that we all think that it started with Hallmark to figure out a commercialization,

but really it was a celebration of all things mom.

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of a mother who had really given her life, I guess, her life story to, and then it had

evolved into taking care of people, which is what is it's celebrated around the world.

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In Great Britain, I know you have roots there.

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It's called Mothering Sunday.

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And mothers are celebrated in history in many, many ways.

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I wonder if there's another holiday called mothering, like mother, mother, mothering.

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All the mothers, we're doing all the mothers, darling.

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So, do you know what the number one thing that mothers report that they want because we

get them all kinds of things we give them candy That's important.

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But the number one thing is They like to go out with their family and a homemade card

Isn't that sweet?

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And I've seen many of those

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Yep.

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Over the years.

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two boys and I have 10 grandchildren.

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And of course, we also have grandmothers.

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So it's a celebration, a giant celebration of that.

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So that's their number one request.

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So can I tell you about my Mother's Day card?

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So, you know, as a kid in school, you're always told to make a Mother's Day card or some

sort of thing about moms for Mother's Day and Father's Day.

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Well, I don't know what grade it was.

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It must have been maybe first, I'm gonna say first grade.

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And my mom had saved this card and it was really an essay we had to do about our mothers.

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So this...

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Nancy's handwriting, which my husband insists hasn't changed so much since I was in first

grade, but it's for another show.

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And it talks about my mom, what a great mom she is and how she doesn't like me to do this

and she doesn't like me to do that.

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She doesn't like me to hit my sister.

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Well, you know, okay.

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You know, sisters, whatever.

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And then at like the final page, it's got a picture of her laying on the couch that I've

drawn.

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And it says, my mom likes to lay on the couch and drink martinis.

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wow.

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Can you imagine the first grade teacher who thought, okay, what's going on in this house?

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I love that.

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I love that.

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Such an original.

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That is precious.

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My personal desire, I like to go out and eat, but then that's not saying much because my

husband and I eat out all the time anyway.

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We barely ever eat at home.

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Almost had a pizza delivery window installed in my house when my kids were growing up

because I was traveling everywhere and all of that kind of stuff.

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I like to go out now generally mothers like a lighter fare.

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You know they're not into the grilling of steaks like on Father's Day.

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That's what dad likes to do right kind of heavy meals and moms are into the lighter

versions of meals and for 20 years.

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The own Dessour and it closed on December 31st going to reopen I might say but that's

where we went out on the patio because second second Saturday Sunday in May.

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up here in the North Country, Nancy.

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It's beautiful by then.

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It's just the May flowers have come out, April showers have gone away, and starting to get

hot, but not too bad.

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You can wear your frilly dress and be out on the veranda.

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In our case, it was a restaurant patio.

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And if we're not open by the second Sunday in May, I don't know what I'll do.

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I'll get the shakes.

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Because that's what we do.

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Gather up as

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right?

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gather as many of my loved ones as I can, my grands and everything.

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course, I'm at an age where my mother is gone.

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And so on a, and I don't know if you do this or not, but she's in a cemetery not too far

from here.

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And so I do, and I don't go as often as I used to, but I always go on Mother's Day and

Father's Day.

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And I take some kind of a flower, but.

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I gotta tell you a non-food story about visiting my mother though, okay?

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Just indulge me, all right?

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When my mother was watching my boys and she did such a beautiful job of it, she would read

the obituaries, just in general, older people tend to do that, And she would find on

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occasion stories where young men died unexpectedly and for no reason at all at 18 or

something, but always born around the time my boys were.

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Some of those children, those boys, are buried in that same cemetery.

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And so I walk around and I visit all of their graves in addition to hers.

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And I think of them as her grandsons, that she's nurturing them even now in this beyond

where we are today that none of us know what is.

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Anyway, it's just a thing that I do on Mother's Day and walk around to those other graves.

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You know, do the same.

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Right.

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I do.

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I do the same thing and visit my folks and there because they're not too far from here

either in a a VA military engraved in Bushnell.

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But and I'll leave flowers.

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don't need real flowers because the deer will eat them.

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So I get something pretty or something sparkly.

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But when my mom died and this is, guess, maybe shooting by on Dying Mother's Day.

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But it's a mom's story.

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Right.

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Mom liked things that were sparkly.

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So anytime I was down and I had sparkly shoes on or something, she'd go, ooh, ooh, she

liked the sparkles.

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So when she died and she had been cremated on the urn, what I did is I made a t-shirt that

had a picture of her and my dad ironed onto the t-shirt.

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And then we put all sorts of bling around it.

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So we put that in, we put the urn in the t-shirt.

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And so she's buried with bling.

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And then we've got friends who passed away that were very good friends of theirs that were

also in the cemetery.

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And they're in a crematorium where mom dad are actually in the ground and in urns.

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And I found the other last time I was there that there's a way to sort of, there's always

like a little bit of air space between the stone that has their name on it and the actual

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wall.

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So I take little notes.

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and I sneak them and I slip them in there.

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So if anybody ever opens Jackie and David, Jacqueline Morris and David Morris's crypt,

they're going to find a lot of my notes.

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Little stories.

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Mom says hello.

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Dad says hello.

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Love you lots, Nancy.

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precious.

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That is just precious.

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I love that.

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I thought you were going to tell me that you put a martini glass on her stone.

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no, that would be pretty funny.

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I never saw my mom drink a martini and I've only had one.

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I think one's enough for me.

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I'm not a big martini drinker, but I thought that was a funny story, right?

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You know, it's food related.

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There you go.

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And who is the famous outlaw that's out in Colorado, buried in Colorado at the top of a

mountain out in Glenwood Springs?

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How do I know this?

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Anyway, a dock holiday that somebody places a little bottle of bourbon, I think it's

bourbon, on his gravestone.

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And it's always there the next day.

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Because he was well known for imbibing a bit.

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Isn't that something?

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That's food.

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know about it because it's probably Kentucky bourbon, right?

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is.

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So there you go.

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anyway, yeah, popular gifts.

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What do you think?

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Besides a day with the family.

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we always, my dad never knew what to get.

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And besides going out to dinner, which mom didn't always like to do because it was

crowded, you know, it's crowded on Mother's Day and yeah, it's always a zoo at

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restaurants.

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But he would take us girls out and we'd always end up getting the most god awful tacky

outfits for my mother.

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And she wore them anyway.

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the outfits.

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I have to laugh.

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Boy, what a sport my mom was.

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The fake fur on the tacky coats and the You know, my dad thought they were great.

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Do you like it?

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yeah, she would always pretend to go along with it.

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She loved it.

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So We were we were while I grew up in Long Island Yep grew up in Long Island and then my

last year high school was up in Massachusetts But we had some pretty tacky efforts that

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and perfume dad was always getting perfume and flowers, you know flowers So dad stopped

getting mom flowers

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because he used to only get gladiolas because they were cheap and they lasted forever.

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And mom one day said, know, you can get me flowers anytime you want, just don't get me

gladiolas because it reminds me of death, you know, death flowers.

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So dad never got her flowers again.

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Anytime she got flowers, I had to get her flowers.

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The most popular flowers are roses.

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Roses, yeah, roses figure into all these holidays, don't they?

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We've talked about Valentine's.

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a rose?

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Do you know?

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No, you know, I don't think so.

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My mother, I don't even remember that we even celebrated Mother's Day.

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It just wasn't a great big time for us, but probably didn't ever really think about that.

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She was very plain and seemed to enjoy life that way.

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Another popular one is chocolate and sweets.

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Obviously, Tartcuterie and cheese boards.

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And here's my favorite, Jim Beam Specialty Whiskey Ground Coffee.

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Ooh, well that's fairly new compared to when we were growing up, right?

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They didn't have flavored coffee when we were growing up.

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Go mom.

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My mother was a teetotaler, so there wasn't any chance to ever get her anything like that.

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was a tea totaler of another type,

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My mother was the kind that when the preacher came, my dad would run out the back door and

my mother would stay and entertain the preacher, but I always followed him out the back

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door.

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I don't know what that meant.

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I don't know what that meant.

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I was a bit of a rebel.

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I was a bit of a rebel.

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But I have a story about my mother and my grandmothers and again, very plain people,

Eastern Kentucky, born to poverty, that kind of thing.

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That's their stick.

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But when I got married, now I didn't go get all that stuff like at, you know, Macy's or

anything or the bridal shops.

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just didn't.

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It never even occurred to me.

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Yeah, no registry stuff for me.

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Yeah.

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And again, I was a little bit of a rebel.

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You know, I was kind of during the hippie era.

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But my mother and grandmother and my aunts all pooled their money and went out and bought

me china.

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Aww.

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It was on sale.

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That was the only reason they bought it.

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didn't have any kind of special pattern that we wanted or anything because I didn't even

think about China.

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What would I do with that?

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you know, so that was heartwarming, know.

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A mother's love and a grandmother's love and pooling their little meager funds to do that.

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sweet.

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sure that their daughter had the right supplies to entertain and being social, being a

social butterfly.

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That's very sweet.

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I love that.

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Hey, I've got a great story for Meredith Plant.

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know, Meredith is one of our top contributors.

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She's done so much.

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She's been on this.

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Yeah, let's take a break.

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Yeah, let's do.

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because I want to hear what the rest of that story is going to be if you hold on.

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So I'm anxious to hear what our top fan, or one of our top fan, Meredith Plant's story is

all about with her mom.

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Okay, well here goes.

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00:15:09,927 --> 00:15:15,828

I've got a story from Merida from Frida too, who's another one of our top contributors,

but Meredith.

227

00:15:16,069 --> 00:15:22,599

She I sent her an email and I said, Meredith, tell me a story about what you give your

mother for as far as food goes.

228

00:15:22,599 --> 00:15:23,431

Do you go out to eat?

229

00:15:23,431 --> 00:15:24,611

What do you do?

230

00:15:25,211 --> 00:15:29,692

She wrote back and she said, Well, I'm kind of ashamed of this.

231

00:15:29,852 --> 00:15:34,133

But I just never think my dad nor I cook.

232

00:15:34,314 --> 00:15:36,694

And I never think of what to

233

00:15:36,696 --> 00:15:41,128

do for her like go out to eat or what so we just order a pizza.

234

00:15:42,169 --> 00:15:52,065

And I said you know what that's a beautiful story because what that is she said her mother

loves it and they just sit and it's on a Saturday and they get their pizza and I said it's

235

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about being together it really doesn't matter about all the fancy food and stuff in fact

if she cooked all day she'd be exhausted or if you cooked all day you'd be exhausted so

236

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you know and you have to clean up yeah.

237

00:16:05,651 --> 00:16:08,059

no dishes and time together.

238

00:16:08,059 --> 00:16:08,928

I like it.

239

00:16:08,928 --> 00:16:09,598

Yeah.

240

00:16:09,598 --> 00:16:18,422

And then Frida, of course, we all know and love Gloria, 91 year old Gloria that we

featured on the show on all kinds of things.

241

00:16:18,422 --> 00:16:26,776

we were featured in a magazine in Maysville, Kentucky, and the newspaper and their

lifestyle magazine were featured in there.

242

00:16:26,776 --> 00:16:31,188

Our book and my family tree, Food and Stories is in there.

243

00:16:31,188 --> 00:16:35,946

And I said, Frida, tell me a story about your mother and Mother's Day.

244

00:16:35,946 --> 00:16:41,638

And she said her mother who was, you know, just a shack, who lives in a house that's

falling down.

245

00:16:41,638 --> 00:16:48,810

I mean, you know, she's just such a character and she gets a new hat every Mother's Day.

246

00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:50,590

Frida buys her a hat.

247

00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:55,332

And so they're all in, Frida has to buy the big hat things to keep them in.

248

00:16:55,332 --> 00:16:57,972

And that's her, she loves her hats.

249

00:16:57,972 --> 00:17:03,324

And then they take her to Tumbleweed in Maysville, which is a Mexican restaurant.

250

00:17:03,324 --> 00:17:04,352

It's a chain.

251

00:17:04,352 --> 00:17:08,727

Used to be here, not anymore, but it is, I think it's gone to more small towns.

252

00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:15,334

A lot of the restaurants are doing that, where they're going to smaller markets and being

kind of more exclusive.

253

00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:22,641

So anyway, I thought that was a sweet story, that she hats, hats and tumbleweed.

254

00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,364

And I told her to send a picture, yeah, Gloria.

255

00:17:25,969 --> 00:17:26,929

Oops.

256

00:17:27,669 --> 00:17:28,849

Hold on a second.

257

00:17:30,609 --> 00:17:32,233

you

258

00:17:46,837 --> 00:17:48,244

What's going on?

259

00:17:50,251 --> 00:17:52,082

right in the middle of recording, right?

260

00:17:52,664 --> 00:17:53,625

Sorry.

261

00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:55,446

That's his phone, not mine.

262

00:17:55,988 --> 00:17:57,569

Shouldn't have been here anyway.

263

00:17:58,230 --> 00:17:59,130

Yeah.

264

00:18:00,352 --> 00:18:01,433

What's that?

265

00:18:01,665 --> 00:18:04,707

Well, you're going out to eat or you're at home.

266

00:18:04,707 --> 00:18:05,887

It doesn't matter.

267

00:18:05,907 --> 00:18:09,069

And you maybe got several people around the table.

268

00:18:09,929 --> 00:18:17,914

Tell store food stories like start with someone and and shamelessly take their take our

book and write them down.

269

00:18:17,914 --> 00:18:24,998

But, you know, each person comes up with a food story or a moment in time and really get

the ball rolling.

270

00:18:24,998 --> 00:18:25,912

And then I

271

00:18:25,912 --> 00:18:33,197

Guarantee there'll be laughter at that table and just a wonderful little tradition to

start if you haven't done it before.

272

00:18:33,197 --> 00:18:36,869

a story that happened around the kitchen with your mom, right?

273

00:18:36,869 --> 00:18:38,780

Because then you can make a Mother's Day related.

274

00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:41,642

Some faux pas or crazy things that happen.

275

00:18:41,822 --> 00:18:50,607

gosh, we've got too many stories that we laugh about that I probably shouldn't put on the

air because it would be, I would embarrass my mom, so I'm not going to do that.

276

00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:52,148

At least on a Mother's Day show.

277

00:18:52,148 --> 00:18:57,371

I'll wait to some other show where we can, yeah, we'll be a little snarkier, right?

278

00:18:57,371 --> 00:19:00,852

Maybe I will even martini on a gravestone.

279

00:19:00,998 --> 00:19:02,238

She and Doc Holliday.

280

00:19:02,238 --> 00:19:03,720

I love that.

281

00:19:07,665 --> 00:19:10,517

Or, you know, some other like creative kinds of things.

282

00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,810

You could take a cooking class with Mom.

283

00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:15,131

Just something where you're together.

284

00:19:15,733 --> 00:19:16,762

Or a weird tour.

285

00:19:16,762 --> 00:19:18,735

One suggestion was of donut shops.

286

00:19:18,735 --> 00:19:20,947

I don't know if I could eat too many donuts.

287

00:19:20,947 --> 00:19:25,428

I mean, I don't know about that one, but anyway, that was a...

288

00:19:25,428 --> 00:19:36,768

I love to do with my mom when we had moved from Massachusetts and after I was in college,

I'd come back and visit and our little town in up in Rochester, Massachusetts, it was

289

00:19:36,768 --> 00:19:37,448

tiny.

290

00:19:37,448 --> 00:19:45,135

The post office, the general store and Alice's diner were all in one building.

291

00:19:45,135 --> 00:19:46,516

It was a tiny building.

292

00:19:46,516 --> 00:19:46,876

Right.

293

00:19:46,876 --> 00:19:52,020

And I say the center of town, you knew, is the center of town because there was a flagpole

and

294

00:19:52,303 --> 00:19:53,474

right in front of the post office.

295

00:19:53,474 --> 00:19:54,264

And that was it.

296

00:19:54,264 --> 00:20:01,398

So we're talking, I'm going to say it was probably about 1200 square feet for all three.

297

00:20:01,398 --> 00:20:09,963

But so it was tiny in the back, the little diner, you could have a cup of coffee and mom

and mom would every say whenever it was like sort of a rough day and was cold, she doesn't

298

00:20:09,963 --> 00:20:11,164

want to go have a cuppa.

299

00:20:11,164 --> 00:20:14,706

So we'd go have a cuppa, whatever it was, coffee or tea.

300

00:20:14,706 --> 00:20:21,539

And just as another friend would say, do a chin wag together at the diner at Alice's Diner

and talk about.

301

00:20:22,714 --> 00:20:23,956

A chin wag.

302

00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,643

That is so neat.

303

00:20:25,643 --> 00:20:26,765

a British expression.

304

00:20:26,765 --> 00:20:27,836

Yeah.

305

00:20:28,458 --> 00:20:28,979

Chin wag.

306

00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:29,981

I love that one, right?

307

00:20:29,981 --> 00:20:30,301

Yep.

308

00:20:30,301 --> 00:20:31,643

And have a cuppa.

309

00:20:32,338 --> 00:20:33,658

That's great.

310

00:20:33,658 --> 00:20:36,238

Hey, I love the tradition in Serbia.

311

00:20:36,238 --> 00:20:38,978

I love the aftermath of it more than I like.

312

00:20:38,978 --> 00:20:43,558

This is where children tie mom up and she has to give them gifts.

313

00:20:43,678 --> 00:20:44,658

Oh, you love that?

314

00:20:44,658 --> 00:20:45,558

mean, really?

315

00:20:45,558 --> 00:20:46,498

Seriously?

316

00:20:46,498 --> 00:20:47,838

But they get revenge.

317

00:20:47,838 --> 00:20:52,738

This is the part I like is that on Children's Day, apparently they must have one.

318

00:20:52,738 --> 00:20:53,958

Same thing goes.

319

00:20:53,958 --> 00:20:57,438

She gets to tie them up and they have to give her gifts.

320

00:20:57,967 --> 00:21:00,060

I tie them up and never let them out.

321

00:21:01,525 --> 00:21:03,028

Roll them up and stick them in the closet.

322

00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,690

That's why I'm not their mother.

323

00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:14,314

So one of the things that, and I don't know if you ever got a chance to do this, but I

tried to write a little haiku about my mother.

324

00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:23,462

And you know haikus are five syllables, seven syllables in the second line, and five in

the third line.

325

00:21:23,846 --> 00:21:26,367

And that means you have very spare wording.

326

00:21:26,367 --> 00:21:28,647

I you can't get a lot in there, right?

327

00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,988

In Japan, it's very strict.

328

00:21:30,988 --> 00:21:32,879

In other cultures, it's not.

329

00:21:32,879 --> 00:21:35,529

So you can exceed that a little bit.

330

00:21:35,529 --> 00:21:36,570

I did a little bit.

331

00:21:36,570 --> 00:21:38,110

You want to hear my haiku?

332

00:21:38,210 --> 00:21:39,670

Tribute to mama.

333

00:21:40,451 --> 00:21:43,051

Burgers were your claim to fame.

334

00:21:43,072 --> 00:21:45,812

Prepared with love, sprinkles, and care.

335

00:21:45,812 --> 00:21:47,273

Not Julia Childs?

336

00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:49,293

No shame, my dear.

337

00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:50,823

I love it.

338

00:21:51,723 --> 00:21:54,908

I don't know that I'm much of a poet, but anyway, tried.

339

00:21:54,908 --> 00:21:56,389

Mama tried.

340

00:21:58,554 --> 00:22:02,079

So that's all about Mother's Day.

341

00:22:03,504 --> 00:22:08,085

There's so much, this is such a wonderful time of year, the spring, every thing popping

up.

342

00:22:08,085 --> 00:22:11,225

And I know we've talked about spring before, but especially in May.

343

00:22:11,225 --> 00:22:13,685

Now I have one other little thing to share.

344

00:22:13,685 --> 00:22:26,665

Now I did go to school down south in Virginia and May was, early May, it was just before,

end of April, early May, around Kentucky Derby Day and Mother's Day is when school would

345

00:22:26,665 --> 00:22:29,785

let out for the year because it gets too hot in the south, right?

346

00:22:29,785 --> 00:22:31,333

And so people let out early.

347

00:22:31,333 --> 00:22:33,154

But we also go to school early.

348

00:22:33,154 --> 00:22:34,756

Sorry, the school starts early.

349

00:22:34,756 --> 00:22:37,757

They did maypoles, the maypole dance.

350

00:22:38,538 --> 00:22:40,139

Yeah, that was kind of cool.

351

00:22:40,139 --> 00:22:44,222

So they had, yep, maybe they had the selecting of what they called.

352

00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:45,223

Yep.

353

00:22:45,223 --> 00:22:46,574

So weave them in and out.

354

00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:47,755

I never got selected.

355

00:22:47,755 --> 00:22:49,406

But you know what?

356

00:22:49,406 --> 00:22:52,068

That's okay, because it just seemed a little too much work for me.

357

00:22:52,068 --> 00:22:54,450

said, I don't do that girly stuff.

358

00:22:54,450 --> 00:22:57,782

Just, know, not unless they included a pair of horse boots.

359

00:22:57,782 --> 00:22:59,504

Yeah, what about in Florida?

360

00:22:59,504 --> 00:23:01,286

Do you have a sense of spring?

361

00:23:01,286 --> 00:23:07,982

Because I mean, I know it turns wickedly hot in the summer, but you know, there are

seasons in Florida.

362

00:23:07,982 --> 00:23:09,644

I mean, I know I live here.

363

00:23:09,644 --> 00:23:10,102

Yeah.

364

00:23:10,102 --> 00:23:10,983

springtime right now.

365

00:23:10,983 --> 00:23:14,605

We're recording this in end of March.

366

00:23:14,605 --> 00:23:17,116

So, but we're always thinking about our moms.

367

00:23:17,116 --> 00:23:18,467

doesn't matter what, right?

368

00:23:18,467 --> 00:23:24,551

But the, now it's like the oak trees, alive oak trees, those big graceful trees that sort

of hang over.

369

00:23:24,551 --> 00:23:28,813

see that the Southern antebellum kind of look with the Spanish moss.

370

00:23:28,813 --> 00:23:35,835

Well, the leaves don't really fall off in the winter time, but they do get kind of this

grayish.

371

00:23:35,835 --> 00:23:37,667

greenish kind of old.

372

00:23:37,667 --> 00:23:42,691

But in the springtime now, all the new leaves are pushing those old leaves off the tree.

373

00:23:42,691 --> 00:23:47,526

So it's like they're kicking the old ones off and the new ones are coming through the

sprouts of the old ones.

374

00:23:47,526 --> 00:23:52,220

So it's kind of neat to see that fresh spring green is like my favorite color.

375

00:23:52,220 --> 00:23:53,105

I love that color.

376

00:23:53,105 --> 00:23:57,871

don't kick old moms off the tree, on the tree of life.

377

00:23:57,871 --> 00:23:59,301

the tree of life, right?

378

00:23:59,301 --> 00:24:01,113

She just gets her own branch.

379

00:24:01,694 --> 00:24:05,876

And the wildflowers are beautiful down here.

380

00:24:05,917 --> 00:24:10,400

The blankets of the baby pink, they're just baby pink blanket all across.

381

00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,652

And I just learned that you can buy them by five pounds of seeds.

382

00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:17,345

So we're gonna sprinkle them in our front yard and hopefully next year.

383

00:24:17,345 --> 00:24:23,916

not only fur babies, but you're also mothering a couple of other little ones, right?

384

00:24:23,916 --> 00:24:26,108

Trees.

385

00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:31,273

trees and plants and we're getting some new flowers in and that will be fun.

386

00:24:31,273 --> 00:24:33,145

But yes, my olive trees.

387

00:24:33,145 --> 00:24:44,855

I'm a mother to my olive trees and now are two avocados, which I've called, what I called

it, Ava and Cody are avocado trees.

388

00:24:47,437 --> 00:24:50,399

Well, Ava Cody instead of avocado.

389

00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,963

clever.

390

00:24:55,358 --> 00:24:56,959

You're a little slow.

391

00:24:56,959 --> 00:24:57,884

It's late.

392

00:24:57,884 --> 00:25:02,862

been a little mothering too hard Here's Eva Cody avocado.

393

00:25:02,862 --> 00:25:03,884

Haha.

394

00:25:03,884 --> 00:25:04,588

Okay

395

00:25:04,588 --> 00:25:06,331

so cute.

396

00:25:07,269 --> 00:25:10,130

So, but that's my mothering.

397

00:25:10,130 --> 00:25:17,154

It's either a green branch or a green tree or a fur baby or taking care of mom and dad in

those days and age.

398

00:25:17,154 --> 00:25:19,695

But I never said I was, I was being their mom.

399

00:25:19,695 --> 00:25:22,586

always, I was always their kid.

400

00:25:22,586 --> 00:25:24,377

So, but that's me.

401

00:25:24,438 --> 00:25:26,119

always nurturing.

402

00:25:26,239 --> 00:25:33,663

I actually, many people have experienced this, that I actually did kind of become my

mother's mother at the end.

403

00:25:34,504 --> 00:25:40,327

Where she, you know, she really looked up to me to navigate her through her final illness.

404

00:25:40,447 --> 00:25:47,938

And I never, I'll never forget that day when she got the diagnosis that wasn't what she

wanted to hear.

405

00:25:47,938 --> 00:25:53,262

I remember just thinking how small she seemed to be because I'm real short and

406

00:25:53,262 --> 00:26:00,642

even she was a little taller than me, but it just, she was so tiny and she just looked at

me and she said, it's gonna be okay, right?

407

00:26:01,022 --> 00:26:03,182

And I said, it will be okay.

408

00:26:03,182 --> 00:26:05,482

It will be okay.

409

00:26:05,582 --> 00:26:18,162

And you we had those moments with her and I don't mean it to be a sad note, because it was

hard, you know, there's sad moments in your life that you look back on that are so giving

410

00:26:18,162 --> 00:26:22,590

in your heart because I was there, I was her mother.

411

00:26:22,590 --> 00:26:28,237

at the very end and she relied on me and that's heartwarming.

412

00:26:28,237 --> 00:26:38,386

Yeah, you know, I never looked at that stage of my life, or my mom's life, which really

wasn't too long ago, it only about four years ago in her final days, really as mothering

413

00:26:38,386 --> 00:26:46,913

her, but being being the daughter to step up that needed to be at the time tag teaming is

what I would call it.

414

00:26:47,153 --> 00:26:56,611

And I remember sleeping next to her in those final days and in home hospice and just

holding her hand and saying, it's okay, mom, I'm here now she couldn't talk.

415

00:26:56,701 --> 00:27:05,055

And she didn't really, I mean, she was basically comatose, but she always just a very

gentle squeeze of my hand, you she's going to say in the middle of the night, it's okay,

416

00:27:05,055 --> 00:27:06,265

mom, I'm here.

417

00:27:06,485 --> 00:27:14,801

And it's interesting, the connection between mother and daughters, I think never truly

leaves right to that that final day.

418

00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:15,428

But.

419

00:27:15,428 --> 00:27:15,860

That's right.

420

00:27:15,860 --> 00:27:19,112

And you know, kind of a food kind of thing related to that.

421

00:27:20,684 --> 00:27:33,359

When my mother stopped eating and I knew it was the end and it was several weeks and she

just kind of turned away from food.

422

00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:38,361

And again, we get back to food is so fundamental to our lives.

423

00:27:38,361 --> 00:27:48,366

And Bernie had the same experience with his mother because his father died in January and

beginning in September, his mother just stopped eating.

424

00:27:48,366 --> 00:27:49,706

She was healthy.

425

00:27:50,381 --> 00:27:51,156

it happens.

426

00:27:51,156 --> 00:27:52,958

I don't want anything anymore.

427

00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:54,381

I'm gonna go.

428

00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:55,442

I'm gonna go on.

429

00:27:55,442 --> 00:27:57,484

And she lasted till November.

430

00:27:57,846 --> 00:28:00,770

you know, mean, that was not a...

431

00:28:00,770 --> 00:28:02,863

At the end, wasn't a sad story anymore.

432

00:28:02,863 --> 00:28:04,294

It was her choice.

433

00:28:04,696 --> 00:28:06,169

And, yeah.

434

00:28:06,169 --> 00:28:14,309

of life when the day that my mom passed and not to, you know, because we talk about

mothers in ways of present and past, right?

435

00:28:14,309 --> 00:28:16,809

We never, we never live with our moms no matter what.

436

00:28:16,809 --> 00:28:23,869

And I think that's important to remember whether they're good moms or maybe they're a

little cranky moms.

437

00:28:23,929 --> 00:28:27,669

you know, moms have good days and bad days too.

438

00:28:27,669 --> 00:28:31,309

It's not just, you know, they're not as perfect as we are as kids.

439

00:28:31,449 --> 00:28:31,853

So.

440

00:28:31,853 --> 00:28:32,914

Hahaha

441

00:28:33,841 --> 00:28:46,421

But when my mom passed and her body was taken off early that morning, I told my sister and

I said, you know, was probably about 10, 9.30, 10 o'clock in the morning, because she

442

00:28:46,421 --> 00:28:47,981

passed early in the morning.

443

00:28:48,141 --> 00:28:58,081

And I looked at my sister and I said, you know, mom would want us to go out and celebrate

together, to be together, to do something.

444

00:28:58,081 --> 00:28:59,781

How about we go out and have lunch?

445

00:28:59,781 --> 00:29:01,377

And that's exactly what we did.

446

00:29:01,377 --> 00:29:01,777

you?

447

00:29:01,777 --> 00:29:05,057

We went out lunch, we laughed, we didn't cry.

448

00:29:05,057 --> 00:29:15,717

We went to, we found a winery with a fellow who, we talked about wine in Florida, like,

you know, but we talked to the guy who owned the winery shop, who was a cantankerous guy

449

00:29:15,717 --> 00:29:16,537

from Brooklyn.

450

00:29:16,537 --> 00:29:19,657

I Frankie was not gonna smile, the life depended on it.

451

00:29:19,657 --> 00:29:24,177

And he had a bottle of his wine that had two sisters on it.

452

00:29:24,177 --> 00:29:25,457

I said, oh, we have to buy this bottle.

453

00:29:25,457 --> 00:29:27,217

We had to buy it whether we like it or not.

454

00:29:27,217 --> 00:29:29,577

And we didn't like it, but we bought it anyway.

455

00:29:29,693 --> 00:29:32,666

And he's asking if we were there for a reason.

456

00:29:32,666 --> 00:29:34,047

Were we just passing through?

457

00:29:34,047 --> 00:29:35,228

Were we snowbirds?

458

00:29:35,228 --> 00:29:36,499

Like, no, we're not snowbirds.

459

00:29:36,499 --> 00:29:37,460

Why are you here?

460

00:29:37,460 --> 00:29:39,642

Well, we're here because mom died this morning.

461

00:29:39,642 --> 00:29:46,488

And I just blurted out thinking, if this guy's not going to smile or talk to us, maybe

we'll shock him.

462

00:29:46,488 --> 00:29:49,140

Well, it kind of softened him in a little bit.

463

00:29:49,140 --> 00:29:53,374

And then he told us a little bit about his home and his family and what was going on.

464

00:29:53,374 --> 00:29:56,495

So we weren't trying to be obnoxious.

465

00:29:56,495 --> 00:30:05,150

I, after they came and took my mother away, we went to our favorite bar, know, bellied up

to the bar and that was life.

466

00:30:05,150 --> 00:30:06,851

I celebrate our moms and that's what we did.

467

00:30:06,851 --> 00:30:15,537

We celebrated mom together with laughter and joy and yeah, a beer at lunch and a good

sandwich.

468

00:30:17,019 --> 00:30:19,380

And an awful floor to wine.

469

00:30:22,443 --> 00:30:25,209

but on that note, so, you know, moms.

470

00:30:25,209 --> 00:30:28,906

You we look like our moms in many cases, we sat, hear my mom's voice.

471

00:30:28,906 --> 00:30:31,490

my God, how did, how did I come up with that expression?

472

00:30:31,490 --> 00:30:34,347

It's mom, right?

473

00:30:34,347 --> 00:30:37,559

expressions and one day I'll write them all down.

474

00:30:37,559 --> 00:30:38,929

They were special.

475

00:30:38,929 --> 00:30:40,990

They were really special.

476

00:30:41,391 --> 00:30:51,396

One of my favorites was when I would be whining about something, my mother would say, you

sound like a dying calf in a hailstorm.

477

00:30:51,436 --> 00:30:53,617

A dying calf in a hailstorm?

478

00:30:53,617 --> 00:30:55,618

It would make me stop.

479

00:30:55,678 --> 00:30:56,099

What?

480

00:30:56,099 --> 00:30:56,439

Huh?

481

00:30:56,439 --> 00:31:00,280

Anyway, on that note.

482

00:31:00,599 --> 00:31:12,555

On that note, let's celebrate mom with joy, with laughter, with fun, and maybe a toast or

two, whether it be martini, a glass of wine, a bourbon, or even a sandwich with your

483

00:31:12,555 --> 00:31:14,346

favorite one.

484

00:31:14,346 --> 00:31:19,369

So on that note, take care, happy Mother's Day, and we'll see you soon.

485

00:31:19,369 --> 00:31:20,759

Take care, bye-bye.